She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So much rum. So many feels.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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