i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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