This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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