The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
