Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
