I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
