Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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