how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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