True but thats because hes a fetus.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
