i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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