I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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