We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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