I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
