she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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