I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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