so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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