she is the kim kardashian of front butts
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
