I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You took a bar mat shot.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
