Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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