As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
