Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
