It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
