Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
