i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
