He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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