Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
