It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
