The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
