i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
