my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
