why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
