we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My vagina just recognized that song.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
