When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They took my balls.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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