Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
my liver is dry heaving
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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