did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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