He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
