Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
