How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
