Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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