A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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