ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
