What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
