Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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