I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
