Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
