I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
