Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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