I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
