I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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