So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
