I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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