sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
