So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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